A Swiftly Increasing Psychosis
by Pink.And.Black.Converse
Summary: When the family doesn't recover from Edward's near suicide, Carlisle seeks help for everyone. Will it save the teens from themselves, or will it just make everyone worse? After all, it's hard to trust anyone in Italy... Set after Edward's return in NM.
1. Breathe

_**A/N: **This is going to be my first multi-chaptered fic on my new account and will hopefully go over well. Maybe it will end up being as popular as Elevator... Oops! Gave something away there! Anywho, there's a little secret to this story and it has to do with the story title and later on, the chapter titles. If it works out, this should be just about ten chapters, possibly more._

_Another thing; this is my first attempt at writing these POVs and my first fic with a load of dialogue in a long, long time. Please let me know if it sounds off at all._

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Twilight cannon. I do not own a cannon. I f I owned a cannon and you said I owned Twilight cannon, you would get shot....

out of my cannon. :P

**

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****_Carlisle POV_**

"Esme, we have to send them away," I said to my wife softly one morning while our children were at Forks High. She tensed up immediately and pulled away from my gentle embrace. I could see the small ripple of pain cross her face before she took a few deep, shaky breaths.

I shook my head sadly. She must have known this would be coming. I knew how it would effect her and sure enough, she tried to change my mind.

"We can't…" Esme's angelic face contorted with pain. "We've only just gotten them all here. I…I know it will take awhile, b-but I can't lose them now. I just can't. Not again; not now."

Her expression was so miserable that I almost agreed with her; I had to look away in order to keep from letting our shared pain overcome logic. It wasn't often that I could bear to look away from Esme, but I knew that a single glance into her tortured tawny eyes would have me sinking to the ground in misery. When she hurt, I hurt.

"They're suffering, dear." As if borrowing Edward's talent, I could almost hear her thinking _'and we aren't?'_

"They're wonderful people; don't think I don't know it. But with all that's gone on lately, there's been some breakdowns. They hide it well; I only know because of what Edward has told me. But if they're as bad as he says, I know he's probably worse…they need to see someone."

She was back on our off-white loveseat and in my arms, her head resting on my chest. I could feel the defeat in her very limbs and knew she had seen I was right. I could look at her freely once again.

I did.

Her head was hung low, her hair falling into her eyes. Sad, hurting, resolved. "When will you tell them? Who could we possibly send them to? When will they be back?"

I answered the question I knew she was most nervous about first. "I don't know how long it could take. A doctor I may be, but this is not my area of expertise. A broken arm, a crushed bone…I can fix that. But a broken mind, a black soul…I've no experience in it."

She sighed and her petite body became wracked with waterless sobs. A part of vampirism we all hated, even the male Cullens, was our inability to cry properly. Yes, most of us had been raised in a time where it was inappropriate for boys to cry. Now it was acceptable….and not possible. There were many a time when it would have been a nice release for our various pains.

"I'll tell them when they get home," I continued, knowing that any attempt to comfort her would only worsen the situation. "And I'll have to make some calls now to find someone we can tell everything to. A vampire therapist…" I let a morose chuckle out at the thought.

And then we parted for awhile, each collecting our own thoughts and trying to go about normal business. Esme went to tend to her flowers, far out in the backyard, where I wouldn't follow. She would be going to pieces now, trying to let all of her pain out before the children returned. She had done the same when we nearly lost our son, less than a month before.

She would need her time alone.

I picked up my silver little cell phone and for once didn't give any thought to it. Now wasn't a time to consider modern marvels. I called the number at the bottom of my extensive contact list, the one I never thought I'd call in a crisis.

Volterra.

_**-Breathe—Breathe—Breath—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breath—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe-**_

_**Edward POV**_

They were all with me today- Emmett was making innuendo loudly while Alice and Rosalie argued on shoes (stilettos versus sandals). Bella was up front with me, smiling timidly in my direction. She had stated her opinion on shoes ("sneakers are more comfortable," she had said, much to Alice's disappointment) and was now ignoring the debate. Jasper was in the back, near enough to Emmett to be annoyed, but not showing it. He was reading a book, as usual.

Cramming five vampires and a human in one Volvo was impressive enough. Cramming one annoying vampire, two hyper vampires, an Emo vampire, a mind-reading driver vampire, and an emotionally unstable, accident prone human was another thing altogether.

I almost smiled, but thought of how wrong things were underneath the façade and sighed instead. Alice and Rosalie's conversation ended abruptly and Emmett stopped a joke before he even finished it. Bella looked confused. Of course…she didn't hear my pained sigh. I looked into my rear-view mirror. Jasper was reading still. Odd. I would've thought the sudden end to the jokes and chatter might have caused him to look up. He was inquisitive and wasn't _that_ engrossed in his book. My sudden sadness should have made him realize something was up.

_'Everyone's so miserable all the time now that he doesn't really notice sadness or depression anymore.'_

Alice noticed Jasper's reaction, or should I say, _lack_ of reaction, and glanced at him unhappily.I could see Alice's eyes tighten with pain for the slightest second and realized that Emmett was wrong in what he thought.

_'He's so depressed himself that he's been having trouble noticing any other emotion at all,' _Alice thought.

And then I looked at my brothers and sisters and my dear Bella. They all had the exact same expression. And I realized…

'_Jasper isn't the only one.'_

_****__**-Breathe—Breathe—Breath—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breath—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe—Breathe-**_

_**Bella POV**_

Edward was driving us home and things seemed normal. Well, as normal as we can ever get. After disappointing Alice with my lack of interest in fashion yet again, Rose occupied her. I was relieved.

"You know that new Harry Potter movie, you guys?" Emmett said suddenly. "Well did you notice it was diiirrty?"

I tried my best to ignore him, as was everyone else. I _liked _the Harry movies and books. Hmm… Maybe that's what Jasper was reading. I should start the series over, then maybe I'd be distracted from all of the pain my future family was trying to hide from me.

"Is that your wand in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" Emmett asked in a cheesy English accent. "Would you like to learn the Engorgement Spell, class? May I pet your Basilisk and—"

I nearly laughed, but all of a sudden, the chatter in the Volvo died off.

'_Jasper didn't quit reading though,'_ I noticed. _'He doesn't say much anymore. And he was quiet to begin with.'_

I wondered what my face looked like. From the expression on Edward's, I had a feeling it wasn't good. But the tension was too much to overcome. Edward had only just gotten back from…leaving… Nearly committing suicide. I was terrified he'd leave again. He was terrified he'd hurt me.

The rest of the Cullens had been affected by his suicide attempt than I would have thought. I could tell they were different that the Cullens I'd known. Not much, but enough. Sadder, maybe; darker. I felt uneasy all of a sudden. Queasy. As Edward pulled up to their house and we exited, I knew something big was about to happen.

Edward was next to me, of course, holding my hand perhaps a little tighter than he would have in the past. Suddenly his eyes went pitch black with anger, fear, and something I couldn't quite identify. It looked somewhat like…embarrassment? Behind me, Alice gasped loud enough that, not only could I hear, it almost hurt my ears.

Carlisle and Esme were waiting for us in the front room, sitting on their loveseat together.

"You need professional help," Carlisle said in way of a greeting. My heart sped up as it sunk quickly to my feet. "You'll all leave tomorrow. Bella, you will be going also. I've cleared it with Charlie. He thinks you'll be studying French traditions and art in Paris."

"We're so sorry," Esme said miserably. "But we had no other choice. We've noticed you all changing, and not much for the better."

Edward's anger dissolved when he looked toward me. My heart usually raced when I was scared or happy or anything….but now it had slowed to what seemed nearly a stop.

How bad could a vampire's frame of mind be for one to need therapy? I knew that Edward and I were hurting. I suspected that Jasper would be the same. But huge, joking Emmett? Or hyperactive little Alice and the ever callous Rosalie?

They hid it well, but apparently not well enough. My only comforting thought was that Edward and I would be together.

Because I wouldn't be able to breathe without him.

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**Please let me know any opinions on this chapter, and any suggestions, speculations, or concrit you may have. I welcome pretty much anything but hostile flames. **

**This is the first non-school related thing I've written in ages that _wasn't _unbelievable angst and emotional trauma. Well, it's not like that...yet. It may turn that way quickly. I just can't seem to get back my humour and silly stuff.**

**Thanks for reading; I'll have more soon.**

**-P.A.B.C-**


	2. Fearless

_**A/N: **Here's the much-awaited (yeah, right!) chapter two. Now that the chapter titles display, can you guess the little in-joke?_

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own The Twilight Saga, it's characters, or any reviews for this fic. -drowns in emoness that I stole from Jasper-

**_

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__Alice POV_**

Bella was shivering again, but it wasn't the same as it was on the plane. The plane was cold enough to make her shiver in her sleep, though the rest of us felt nothing at all. Bella had shivered when Edward carried her off the plane. She shivered when her head lolled onto my shoulder in the cab. She shivered so hard that I was surprised she didn't shake herself awake. But she was awake now and still did not notice anything, although the air here was hot enough to be mildly uncomfortable to me. On my other side, Jasper shivered, too.

I realized that this new shivering wasn't due to cold weather. In fact, it was bright and sunny in Volterra today. Around a hundred and six. Thankfully, all the humans of the city were hiding away in their houses, blinds drawn and refrigerated air going full blast. No one would notice the sparkly Cullens.

Suddenly, the heat rose.

My senses numbed and I had a little burst of weariness. Four of my senses dimmed considerably, but my eyes felt like iced razors. Cold and sharp, unable to miss anything.

_Emmett was coughing violently and Rose stared at him, terrified. Bella was crying and clearly confused as Edward grasped at her shoulder to keep from falling on to the dirty ground. His face was tortured, not nearly as much so as when he left Bella, but bad enough. My Jasper dropped to his knees, whimpering and obviously in a horrendous amount of pain._ I screamed so loud that I could hear myself through the numbness of my vision._ I could feel myself being tortured, hurt over and over. It was so bad, so horrible, and it didn't ease. It just grew worse and worse with no end in sight._

My senses equalized again and I saw that the others had stopped to stare at me. Wondering what I had seen to make me scream, I'd bet. Edward's face was in shock; he had seen exactly what I had, though he was lucky enough to have not felt it.

The faint breeze had stopped and then I realized the meaning of my vision. It was a hot day in Volterra.

We were going to burn.

_**xxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxx**_

_**Edward POV**_

When Alice stopped and her thoughts fuzzed up, I knew she was going into full-blown psychic mode. I stopped Bella gently and my family waited a few steps ahead, glancing back nervously. They did not like being back here so soon after what had happened and, like me, felt jumpy whenever Alice was seeing into the future. We were so sure it would be bad news.

I did not blame them; I, too, hated Italy now. Thankfully though, we were not going to the Volturi castle. Aro, Jane, Demetri, and all the rest had no reason to know we were here. We didn't even need to go near the clock tower, which was good. I was sure t would be very bad for both Bella and myself.

I didn't have to stop myself from remembering all the pain I had caused Bella and everyone else here. Alice distracted me with what appeared to be, if it was even possible, a much worse pain. I could feel nothing, but the looks of horror that played across everyone's faces in the vision were enough.

Little Alice has the lungs of an angry opera singer and the volume of several hundreds of people screeching at once. I had never heard her use full volume in all my years with her…

Until now.

She let out a bloodcurdling scream. Well, bloodcurdling to Bella. For the rest of us, it was just something that would have haunted our nightmares for years and years if we had been able to sleep.

I had never heard so much pain in one wordless yell before.

_'We're going to burn!' _Alice cried in her mind. _'It's coming, it's coming soon and bad and IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE _PLEASE_ LET IT STOP IT'S _WORSE_ THAN CHANGING EVEN! FOR GOD'S SAKE, JUST _KILL _ME!'_

I didn't stop to think; I just grabbed Bella, flung her over my shoulder, and ran for the shade. I hoped the others would follow quickly, before it was too late. Before they burned.

_**xxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxFEARLESSxxx**_

_**Bella POV**_

It all happened so fast that I was having trouble comprehending it. I knew it was over in a matter of seconds, whatever _it _was…but Alice's horrible scream echoed in my ears. That was a traumatizing experience I could give our therapist; I knew that scream would follow me for months and months.

It all started when Alice stopped in the street. The rest of us continued on, not noticing, until Edward stopped me. Then there was a scream and the world dissolved as Edward ran with me. All was blurry, though I thought I could see Emmett following. After all, he was too big to mistake.

Edward sat me down in a shady spot and held me tightly. It felt good against my searing skin. I glanced down and saw that my arm was red, almost glowing. Great. I had sunburn, though we had only been out in the open for about five minutes. Until that exact moment, I never realized how much I had come to love Forks and all its clouds and rain. It was so rarely sunny there.

"Oh!" I let out a tiny gasp of understanding that I could barely hear, though I'm sure everyone else present did. "The sun…"

If I was being sunburned that quickly, then it must have been hurting them! Alice was completely out of it for a few moments. She just sat on the ground sobbing while Jasper held her. She didn't seem to notice her perfect designer jeans getting dusty. If she did, she was past caring about fashion.

A few moments later, Alice stood and shook herself like a wet dog. "I'm alright now. We're okay here, we just have to stick to the shady areas and get inside. Soon."

Jasper let go of Alice much more quickly than I would have thought and took out his book again. He was starting to bug me a bit, acting like nothing bad had happened.

"We should hurry…" He said in a monotone. "Someone's bound to have heard all of that and they'll come out to look."

Edward held my hand, clearly still shaken by what almost happened, and I wiped at my cheeks. They were wet….had I cried? I wasn't sure and didn't try to remember, because I could feel Edward's hand tighten around mine ever so slightly. He didn't like being back here anymore than I did.

We had reached the large house on the outskirts of Volterra and Edward led the way up the long, winding drive. Suddenly, a large hole opened up in front of us and Alice nearly fell in. I pulled her back. Clearly, she had not seen this coming.

"I suppose we're meant to jump," I said, sounding braver than I felt. I was nearly cowering in terror.

Edward gripped my hand reassuringly and Alice patted me on the shoulder before she took two steps back and ran forward, jumping in.

Emmett was silent for once, just content to hold tightly onto Rosalie as they fell quickly. Jasper sighed as he closed his book, holding in tightly as he jumped as a professional diver would into the ocean.

Once again, my family was diving into the unknown headfirst (literally!), though not necessarily fearless.

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**Was this any better than the first chapter? Did this one earn me any feedback? Pleeeeaaasssseee? -begs-**

**Chapter three will be up soon, faster if I get ONE review, just one -pokeypokey, hint hint- And chapter three is one of my favourites because it's all in Jaspers point of view and he is my all time favourite character. Which has absolutely NOTHING to do with my obsession with blonde guys... -shifty look-**

**-Kacey**


	3. Forever & Always

**A/N: A SUPER-FLYING-TACKLE-POUNCE-HUG-THING-OF-DOOM for NATTYCULLEN my ONLY reviewer. She is AWESOME. **

**I _KNOW_ THERE ARE PEOPLE READING THIS; IT HAS THIRTY HITS. IF YOU WON'T REVIEW ME, REVIEW NATTY! SHE ROCKS! -squeals on a reviewhigh-**

**Ahem...okay. I'm okay now. Back to my seriousness.**

**DISCLAIMER: **I owned an Edward poster. It scared me. I got rid of it.

**_

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__Jasper POV_**

Before Alice had her meltdown, I had been reading. After I ascertained that she was all right, I began to read again. I had been reading a lot in the last three or so months; I suppose you could almost call it obsessive. I had a feeling that Carlisle disapproved because I was distancing myself from everyone, even my Alice, but that didn't really matter to me anymore. Nothing much ever did.

I wasn't reading anything even mildly educational. I had gone though a few trashy romance novels (NEVER. AGAIN.) and then I moved on to horror. Embarrassingly enough, I couldn't stomach most of it. Stephen King left me jumpy and nervous for days on end. I had even checked under my bed and in the closet.

I finally found my perfect place in fantasy, sci-fi, and comedy novels. They almost made me feel normal again. I could escape my pain for a while and pretend that so-and-so's happiness was my own. Edward didn't read my mind anymore. I was so full of random plots, bad books, and trivial nonsense that I gave him a migraine, if that was possible.

A stab of severe annoyance cut through my almost constant pain. Someone was ticked off? At who? It didn't matter. My book was reaching a good part and I was eager to get to it.

_'"I miscalculated, my friends, I admit it. My curse was deflected by the woman's foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah…pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it. I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost…but still, I was alive."'_

I stopped reading with a sigh and jumped down the hole in the driveway to our therapist's house, trying to ignore what Voldemort had said.

**…_Forever&Always…Forever&Always…Forever&Always…Forever&Always_****…_Forever&Always…Forever&Always…Forever&Always…_**

The fall down the hole was long and tedious. Worst of all, it meant I had to think of what I had just read. _'Pain beyond pain…' '…less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost…'_

_'…but still, I was alive.'_

I could definitely empathize…Pain beyond pain wasn't a new concept for me. I was very much used to it. I had experienced it many times before: with the change, with being bit repeatedly by newborns, killing people, living with Maria. Now was nothing new. Just worse; much, much worse.

I knew the rest was true, too. I was less than a spirit or ghost, but also more. More because I was a vampire, less because I was in so much pain that noting mattered anymore. Nothing mattered at all. But still, I was alive.

My fall ended violently; I reached the end of the tunnel and, having been too wrapped up in my thoughts to pay attention to the yelling, crashed into Rosalie. I knocked her down onto her side and then tripped, falling on top of her. To say that the crash was loud would be an understatement. It was almost as bad as back when my family played baseball on thunder-y days.

So it was no surprise that Edward arrived with Bella right after I crashed, Bella plugging her ears. _They_ didn't crash. I guess I should have jumped with Alice. Everyone else jumped in pairs. Hmm…Alice must think I don't love her anymore. That should probably bother me. But I couldn't care. I couldn't feel worried. It was then that I realized I didn't care if I died here.

There was a hushed giggle from Bella and Emmett said "A-_hem!" _I realized why much slower than I should have.

_'Oh! I should probably get off Rosalie now…'_

Edward must have been listening for once; I saw him smirk. I stood up, surprisingly off balance, and Alice pulled Rosalie to her feet.

"Sorry, Rose," I said quietly. "Wasn't paying attention. You okay?"

"I'm fine, it's no big deal," she didn't sound mad at me, though a few months ago this sort of thing would have made her furious.

We went on in silence, and I was almost sure that that was because everyone was involved in his or her own misery. It wasn't just me; I was just the worst. I think it may have showed in my voice…

_"Sorry, Rose," _I had said. _"Wasn't paying attention. You okay?"_

I vaguely realized now that I had sounded like part of me had died. Most of me, even. I was quiet and sounded…uncaring. I supposed I was, and that finally bothered me a little. Months ago, I would have been mortified. If I were human, I would have blushed. _'Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Rosalie!" _I would have said. _"A re you alright? I should have been paying better attention…You aren't hurt, are you? Let me help you up…"_

That's how I used to be. Caring, polite, always understanding. I was second only to Carlisle in the advice and understanding department. He just had more experience. But everyone had always gone to either Carlisle or I, sometimes both, when they just needed to talk. And I always helped. I could tell because everyone left feeling much better and I hadn't influenced their emotions. Just listened and reassured.

Suddenly, I felt a tiny twinge of regret slice through my thick cloud of hopelessness. I realized that I missed the person I used to be. Maybe everyone else did, too. I couldn't be sure, but I thought they might.

Emmett never came to me much, but was extremely upset the few times that he did. A fight with Rosalie, an insult from someone that he thought had a ring of truth to it, guilt for something silly, like loosening the screws on a swivel chair. Emmett wasn't overly complicated; he was easy to help and reassure. Edward, not so much.

He was always so worried and nervous that I was sure he would eventually snap in half. Tension rolled off him in waves, making me feel as if we were about to be attacked every minute of everyday.

Most people would never suspect that I had been closer to Edward than anyone else besides Bella. Edward and I knew each other so well that it was funny and a little frightening; he didn't always have to read my mind to know what I was going to do or say and I didn't need empathy to know how he was feeling. Only my Alice had known me better. Well, she used to…

"-think we're lost?" Bella seemed to be asking nervously.

"Yes," Rosalie said promptly. "We are."

"We'll be found by someone in exactly twelve seconds," Alice replied happily. Of course, she just _sounded_ happy.

There was a loud crash and a giggle, and then a door opened from the side of the tunnel. A light shown so brightly that I had to squint. I could just barely see the vampire in front of me.

She was of medium height and skinny like Alice, with long black hair that shimmered in the light of her lantern. Her eyes were neon red.

Muted waves of shock hit me from everywhere. We should have known she wouldn't be a vegetarian, though we were for some reason expecting gold eyes. She either hadn't known we were vegetarian, or had but didn't expect gold eyes.

"You the Cullens?" She asked. I could feel the hyperness, the sheer joy, radiating off her. It was a nice escape from my weakness. "And Bella, of course!"

We nodded numbly and I found myself grinning without meaning to. Bella was smiling tentatively from behind Edward, who was smiling and looking somewhat…well, drunk. Emmett and Alice were bouncing up and down (no clue why, they do that when they're hyper) and even Rosalie was grinning.

With the vampire woman's joy and happiness, I couldn't help but feel almost normal again. I liked her already.

"I'm Selena, the secretary! Hi!" She put emphasis on her welcome with a happy little wave.

My heart sunk to my knees. The happy woman wasn't our therapist.

"Merissa is waiting for you," Selena told us cheerily. "She thought you might be lost and GUESS WHAT she was right, hee-hee! Follow meeeee!!!"

She ran off down the opening and we followed, Edward carrying Bella. We were all desperate to be near her, to have her happiness chase away our inner demons.

But none so much as me.

**…_Forever&Always…Forever&Always…Forever&Always…Forever&Always_****…_Forever&Always…Forever&Always…Forever&Always…_**

About an hour and a half later, we all sat in the living room of our four-room apartment. The living room was largest, as big as the other three rooms combined. It had a little bit of everything. The other three rooms were all for Bella. They were a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. Bella was in the new bedroom now, sleeping.

Everyone else was quietly discussing the events of today. I was pretending to finish _Goblet of Fire, _but I was actually thinking about today, too. If Selena was so happy that it was contagious to everyone, she must have learned it from the master. Merissa was about five times happier. If that was even possible.

Merissa was nearly identical to Selena, though she was shorter. Her hair was black, too, though shorter than Selena's was. It was also wavier and at times seemed to flash dark blue or purple. I wondered if they were related, though Merissa seemed much younger.

Our first meeting with Merissa was shocking, to say the least…

Everyone ended up doubled over laughing. I was the worst of all of us; I could barely think straight. I even dropped my book. Through my uncontrollable giggles, I managed to wonder if Merissa and Selena were empaths, like me.

It turned out that they weren't. They were just very happy people. It seemed to be a gift of theirs, though not supernatural like mine. All the same, it was powerful.

Merissa was smiling so hugely that the rest of us just couldn't resist smiling back. One thing led to another, and then Edward was actually rolling on the office floor while he laughed. Once we all calmed down, Merissa ran up to each of us in turn and…there was no other way to describe it…_tackle hugged _us. All except Bella, whom she was much gentler with.

But now we were alone and wouldn't see the happy vampires for a long time. Things darkened and I could feel the pain and numbness set back in. Everyone was in pain, which was making my pain worse. Bella was the only one who wasn't unintentionally hurting me; I could feel only calmness from her dreams.

I glanced down at my book, seeing again what Lord Voldemort said to his Death Eaters in the Muggle graveyard. I definitely understood him when he mentioned pain beyond pain. Sometimes, I hurt so badly that I could never describe it to anyone. I couldn't even make sense of it myself.

I didn't know it was possible before now for anyone to have a pain so vast, so never easing, that it was wordless. I had no release from it; even if I escaped it, my family's pain was always near me. I could not cry. Suddenly, I wished I were human. Then I could cry and forget easier. Breathing would be a relief. My pains wouldn't be so terrible.

Most of all, I could sleep like Bella. I could escape my life for a few precious hours. But I wasn't human, and I couldn't escape. I was a tortured prisoner in my own mind and heart. That's the way it had always been and now it was just more pronounced. And it seemed that that was the way I would stay…

Forever and always.

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**Wow... I went from silly fluff to angst and misery in nothing flat. This chapter was, after all, intended to be sad. The inspiration for the silly parts came from the fact that I AM OFFICIALLY 16 IN LESS THAN 2 DAYS and I have a chocolate cake...AND COFFEE FLAVOURED ICE CREAM. :P**

**I got my inspiration for the emoness from my trip to the store toda, and finding that they stopped carrying the brand of jeans I like. ****I sounded so much like Alice just then :) Depression due to lack of clothes. But really, that isn't the only reason. I was helped by sad music, the fact that, except for the cake and coffee, my 16th isn't going to be any fun at all, and a phone call that made me downright miserable.**

**Rawr.**

**-Kacey**


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